OMG Zac Posen

I can't even. Is this man human? Look at those features! Those glossy black waves! The glowing complexion! The cinematic arch of the eyebrows! The perfectly tailored notch on his jacket! Oh, I could go on and on . . .

Have you been watching this season's Project Runway, readers? Zac Posen, Greek God, is filling in for judge Michael Kors, the Orange Duchess (so nicknamed for his penchant for spray tans and bitchy royal demeanor). According to Jeff, no one can replace the Orange Duchess, but then again . . . Jeff doesn't turn into a giggling school girl every time the Greek God comes on screen.

Have I mentioned his smile?

His thoughtful and encouraging manner of critiquing design?

Okay, let's discuss the elephant in the room.

Obviously, Zac would not return my feelings. But guys, that's why he's my imaginary boyfriend, not my real one. If the pesky little issue of sexual identity got in the way of women having crushes on handsome and kind and stylish gay men, well . . . the pillars of Western popular culture would basically be upturned.

I have two other imaginary boyfriends, BTW. (Don't worry, Jeff doesn't get jealous. He completely understands.)

OMG Dave Grohl.

OMG Stephen Colbert.

Wait! Make that three other imaginary boyfriends!

OMG Adam Scott. (Wow, it's getting crowded in here.)

I know, readers. I have extremely good taste in men.

Okay, back to the point. Are you readers liking Zac Posen on Project Runway this season?

The Daily Dress: Amanda Palmer in Jeffrey Sebelia

Today's Daily Dress was nominated by a reader, and who am I to deny the people what they want? This is a picture of Amanda Palmer of The Dresden Dolls wearing a dress by Jeffrey Sebelia, winner of Project Runway in 2006. This photo was tweeted by her husband, writer Neil Gaiman, who always writes all sorts of romantic things about his lovely wife, like "In a taxi, @amandapalmer in her glorious @jeffreysebelia dress. In 5 hours we part for a month. I miss her already." Awww.

This seems to be the retail version of this dress in black and white from Sebelia's winning Project Runway collection, which was said to be made with a rare Japanese fabric and had yellow zippers inserted into the seams for a touch of punk.

I think this is a lovely use of grainline manipulation with the bold stripes, and the dress takes on a sort of edgy Victorian (dare I say Steampunk?) vibe in the black and white colorway.

Ten Reasons to Love "On The Road with Austin and Santino"

Okay, so it doesn't have the gravitas of Mad Men. But nothing can else on TV can fill me with such unmitigated delight as On the Road with Austin and Santino. Here's why. 

1. It's not a traditional makeover show. Granted, it looks like one on the surface: two Project Runway alums travel around the country to make special occasion dresses for the "fashion-hungry" masses. But, surprisingly, this show is not about making small-town women feel like hicks and laughing smugly at their bad fashion sense. It's also not about changing their personal style; it's understood that these ladies will probably go back to their t-shirts and hunting gear after the show. Rather, it's about helping them celebrate a big moment in their lives in style. Also, there's a nice diversity of age and class on the show. (However, it must be noted that seven episodes in, there's only been one woman of color. Here's hoping they step it up!) 

 2. It has a huge heart. The show manages incredibly touching moments without overdoing it. Santino, who was a bit of a villain on the second season of PR (despite his epic and widely beloved Tim Gunn impression), is surprisingly sweet and gentle on this new show. He seems to genuinely love every woman they dress and they, in turn, respond immediately to his dashing charm.

3. Meet the perfect odd couple. The two came up with the idea for the show after becoming friends, and their mutual affection shows. Far from being saccharine, their sweet friendship is the perfect antidote to the cattiness that abounds on fashion shows. There's something so delightfully warm and fuzzy about the smallest of moments, like Santino earnestly making Austin breakfast. Also, cutest soundbite ever:

Santino: Do you think we’ll still be friends after this adventure?
Austin: I certainly hope so…
Santino: Because I wish I could quit you. 

4. It showcases sewing across the heartland. While Project Runway features trips to the fabric mecca Mood, the fabrics in On the Road with Austin and Santino come from places like Cathy's Quiltin' Square and Doylene's Fabric Store (which is on a dirt road and strongly resembles a shack). It's definitely an interesting—and sobering—look into the state of garment sewing across the country; namely, that dressmaking resources are scarcer than ever, being replaced by quilting fabrics and novelty-print cottons. But the lack of luxury fabrics sets the stage for innovative solutions: our two designers fake expensive-looking fabric by layering teal tulle over a rich purple cotton and repurposing components of flea market dresses.

5. One-liners galore. These dudes are funny. Some random choice quotes:

• Santino, lounging about in a terry cloth robe and drinking wine: "Why is it that we have to suffer for fashion?" 
• Austin, trying to repair a rocking chair: "Maybe some eyelash adhesive will work." 
• Santino, as Austin tries to cut down a pair of antlers to make a purse handle (long story): "I'm not afraid of power tools, but I am afraid of Austin with power tools."

6. Austin's hair. Austin's personal style is unmistakable, and the crowning glory is his locks, which are often curled and topped off with jaunty scarves or chapeaus. I loved seeing that he applies hairspray with the exuberance of someone performing modern dance.  Also, on being handed a hardhat to wear in a brick factory: "Not good for the hair! You don't have a bouffant size, do you?"

7. It bridges political gulfs. An overly grand statement? Perhaps. But in a country where the right to marry is denied a major segment of the population, there's something heartwarming about someone as flamboyant as Austin getting Red State folks to double cheek-kiss like they were born wearing Marc Jacobs.

8. An inspiring dedication to craft and couture. Even though the pair is working with the tight deadlines of Project Runway, their work is painstakingly meticulous. The dresses they make incorporate impressive draping skills, expert inner construction, and dedication to the handwork of couture. Austin's background is in high-end bridal gowns, and he whipped himself into a couture frenzy when the pair got their first wedding dress assignment: "I almost don't even want to use a sewing machine; I want it all to be like little petite main, little, like, mice handstitches." (Santino's reaction: "Ughhhhhh.")

All images courtesy of Lifetime Television

 9. It's short and sweet. On the Road airs right after Project Runway, which has recently extended its length to an excruciating 90 minutes. Austin and Santino's show is 30 minutes, and by contrast to PR, feels like a tiny, but delicious, piece of candy. They leave me wanting more, which I would never, ever say for the current Project Runway.

10. The opening credits. Watch Austin's delivery of the line, "Our designs grace runways around the world!" and try not to crack a smile. I dare you.

Are you lovely readers watching this epically fabulous show? (Hint: there are full episodes online here.)

Project Runway and Avant Garde Fashion: WTF?

Last night's Project Runway included the now-familiar "avant garde" design challenge. I have to admit, I've always been a bit bemused by these episodes. It seems that, at least to PR contestants, avant garde means there is required to be at least one huge poufy or sculptural thing extending from the model's body, like Irina and Johnny's design, pictured above.

Why, I wondered, in the world of Project Runway, does avant-garde always mean playing with volume? I suspect it has much to do with the nature of Project Runway itself, that little fashion tempest in a teapot. Considering that the very definition of avant-garde is something that opens boundaries of art forms, is it really feasible to conceive, design, and create an avant-garde look in one day?

I think that's the thing that's always bothered me about these PR challenges: the avant-garde project seems like an afterthought, something to be whipped together. So the designers rush around like the insane, taking breaks to whine at each other, and then end up just plopping a big pouf of organza on a model's shoulder and crossing their fingers that they don't get cut.

In reality, I suspect that experimental looks actually require a lot more planning and technical expertise than traditional designs. As we've seen, to try to be a "conceptual" designer on Project Runway is to essentially be ridiculous - and a death wish, competitively speaking. Just this season, we've met the unforgivably weird Ari Fish, who was cut for her "disco soccer ball halter diaper," and then the ethereally annoying Malvin who was axed for his bizarre chicken/egg take on fertility for the maternity challenge. I think we all collectively groaned when he primly posited that he was "just too conceptual for America."

Oddly enough, the designs I've seen on PR that have felt the most avant garde to me were Chris March's from the All-Star Challenge. His minimalistic and monastic creations seemed both beautiful and ominious, evoking something beyond just clothes. (Maybe he wasn't napping through the challenge, he was just thinking really hard.)

But I suppose this all opens up the question: what the hell is avant-garde fashion anyway? What makes a design truly experimental, in the way avant-garde theatre or art is experimental? And I'm afraid that's one I'm not prepared to answer. I guess I just wish the producers, judges, and contestants of Project Runway were.

And you, lovely readers? What do you think of the avant garde challenges? Also, any fashion nerds out there that could help out with some historical context?

"If I were a diva, my name would be Ferocia Coutura."

Are you a Project Runway fan? Would you like a Friday afternoon laugh? Then run, don't walk, to Wikiquote's Project Runway page. It's a collection of quotes from the first four seasons (no season five or six yet, unfortunately) that will have you spraying Diet Coke out of your nose onto your keyboard.

Here are a few choice items, in no particular order.

• Daniel Franco: My name is Daniel Franco and I wish you all bliss.

• Santino: If Van Gogh had had my personality, he wouldn't have had to cut off his ear.

• Heidi: When I saw her coming down the runway, I thought 'How pretty are you!' I just want everything to be pretty pretty pretty!

• Tim: Andrae . . . look at all this flotsam and jetsam!

• Elisa: I'm coming to your planet, but with gifts.

• Robert: (about his recyling materials dress) I'm really thrilled, because it looks like a cocktail dress . . . albeit a cheap, tacky cocktail dress that a hooker might wear, but nonetheless it still looks like real clothes.

• Tim: It's looking very happy hands at home granny circle. It's hippie dippie.

• Michael Kors: (about Alison's model) She looks like a paper brioche.

Okay, I've got to stop this or I'll be here all day. Now, get over to the Project Runway Wikiquote and enjoy!

My One Project Runway Peeve (Okay, Two)

I love Project Runway as much as the next gal who sews. I have a Tim Gunn bobblehead next to my sewing machine. And my most prized office decoration is this Tim Gunn "Read" poster issued by the American Library Association. (He looks down on me and gives me peptalks throughout my work day.) So of course I was psyched for the long-awaited return of the show tonight, even if it had to move from Bravo to the less hip Lifetime network.

I thoroughly enjoyed the show tonight, but I realized that going into my sixth season of watching Project Runway, there is one thing I just can't stand anymore.

Have you noticed that at each runway show, there's a voice over from the designer as their creation is modeled that always goes something like this:

Oh my God, when my dress walked down the runway, I just couldn't believe it.

Or:

I almost cried when my dress walked down the runway; it was soooo amazing.

People. DRESSES DO NOT WALK. PEOPLE WALK. I mean really, would it kill you to say "When I saw the model in my dress, etc." or even better you could use the model's name! Yes, models have names! Gracious.

And the other thing I would like to complain about is that there is such a disdain for home sewing on this show. From my beloved Tim Gunn, no less. In the All-Star Challenge tonight, he dismissed something as "matronly" and "a little home sewing, if you know what I mean." And Sweet P's cheeky flowerpot dress was derided by one of the judges as looking "a little bit homemade."

I get what they're trying to say, course. There's a different connotation between handmade and homemade. But what I don't understand is why these designers think they're doing something so rarefied, so separated from the fashion sewing that people do at home, like it's an entirely different skill set.

But perhaps I'm being a little sensitive.

What do you all think? Are you bothered by any of this?